stress..

i'm so damn stress now...
firstly.. i look ugly n' mature...
this has make me loss my confidence to talk to people..
i look more more more mature than my actual age..
people who r 18 or 20 looks more young n' handsome than me..
why do i need to suffer this pain.. this invincible suffering...
secondly.. i cant study...
my brain seem to be corrupted..
when i'm reading something to my mind..
there'll be a feeling tat many stuff is blocking me..
many other stuffs starting to annoy me in the brain making me cant concentrate..
i hav this before a few years ago...
whenever i saw or pass through a cemetery... my brain will act corrupted again..
my brain will start scolding out bad words... n' i cant control it..
but i always repeat sorry.. sorry... sorry.. again n' again in my brain...
then finally last year if i'm not wrong..
i found out a cure..
but it's tat i block my readings...
its really weird to explain but i'll try to..
its lyk i can block the stuff going into my brain of thinking..
its like a force pushing out the words out of my brain..
maybe its bcoz of this tat had affected my brain to think normally..
its just this year tat my brain acting tat way..
i cant think normally.. i cant read...
i'm very pressure now..
my family.. annoying me... their voice make me hav the invincible suffering..
my face... which looks more mather.. n' ugly looking... make me don dare to communicate wif others..
my brain tat had corrupted.. cant think normally.. especially in exams time...
this make me wanna die...
everytime i hav to keep all the suffer inside of me..
when u got suffering.. u'll feel like there's a big amount of gas in ur chest..
n' u wanna make it out by hitting stuffs..
but i cant.. i hav to keep it.. keep it.. n' keep it..
but i really wanna hit the glass... throw stuffs, scream... shout..
but i cant.. i'm very very stress..
i hope that i really gone crazy..
my brother... scolding me.. annoy me..
everyone in my family annoys me..
but i cant fight them over..
coz i know i'll lose.. i'll hav to keep all the suffer inside me..
arghh....ffffffffff.............
i really suffer much..
i wish i had mental problem...
then i can skip over my life.. don think anything more..
as i'm ald old looking.. ugly.. no use..
tmr i'm having bio n' chemist test..
n' i cant rmb a thing...
my memories r also very bad..
i cant rmb clearly wat i've done the day b'fore..
:(