stress again..

exams over..
felt free after the last test..
but stress after skul tat day..
coz i went dyeing my hair tat day..
my 1st dyeing experience... brown colour..
shines when light reaches it..
i told sis about it...
i tot sis will be mad at me..
but not.. she told me tat it's ok.. u hav to accept it since i've done it..
but when i told mum.. got scolded lyk shit..

just know tat sis still havent dump her bf yet today.. :P
so "sui" 1 la her.. :P
haha..
after exam ntg to do...
but study lo.. then mum is lyk u go tidy ur place..
why havent tidy yet.. blablabla..
haizz..

my exam is kinda ok la..
but a few nop..
i got chemist for 26/30 but not sure yet coz teacher say maybe need deduct marks...
physic 28/30 :P
others dunno yet...
maths... Fail
english... Fail
biology... Fail/Pass
history... Fail Fail Fail
geography... Fail

haizz.. :P
dunno wat to post today..
stress for the whole week..
but now ok d.. :)
bye bloggie.. :)

stress..

i'm so damn stress now...
firstly.. i look ugly n' mature...
this has make me loss my confidence to talk to people..
i look more more more mature than my actual age..
people who r 18 or 20 looks more young n' handsome than me..
why do i need to suffer this pain.. this invincible suffering...
secondly.. i cant study...
my brain seem to be corrupted..
when i'm reading something to my mind..
there'll be a feeling tat many stuff is blocking me..
many other stuffs starting to annoy me in the brain making me cant concentrate..
i hav this before a few years ago...
whenever i saw or pass through a cemetery... my brain will act corrupted again..
my brain will start scolding out bad words... n' i cant control it..
but i always repeat sorry.. sorry... sorry.. again n' again in my brain...
then finally last year if i'm not wrong..
i found out a cure..
but it's tat i block my readings...
its really weird to explain but i'll try to..
its lyk i can block the stuff going into my brain of thinking..
its like a force pushing out the words out of my brain..
maybe its bcoz of this tat had affected my brain to think normally..
its just this year tat my brain acting tat way..
i cant think normally.. i cant read...
i'm very pressure now..
my family.. annoying me... their voice make me hav the invincible suffering..
my face... which looks more mather.. n' ugly looking... make me don dare to communicate wif others..
my brain tat had corrupted.. cant think normally.. especially in exams time...
this make me wanna die...
everytime i hav to keep all the suffer inside of me..
when u got suffering.. u'll feel like there's a big amount of gas in ur chest..
n' u wanna make it out by hitting stuffs..
but i cant.. i hav to keep it.. keep it.. n' keep it..
but i really wanna hit the glass... throw stuffs, scream... shout..
but i cant.. i'm very very stress..
i hope that i really gone crazy..
my brother... scolding me.. annoy me..
everyone in my family annoys me..
but i cant fight them over..
coz i know i'll lose.. i'll hav to keep all the suffer inside me..
arghh....ffffffffff.............
i really suffer much..
i wish i had mental problem...
then i can skip over my life.. don think anything more..
as i'm ald old looking.. ugly.. no use..
tmr i'm having bio n' chemist test..
n' i cant rmb a thing...
my memories r also very bad..
i cant rmb clearly wat i've done the day b'fore..
:(

no topic.. :P

sorry again bloggie...
i think it had been almost a month i didnt blog..
i was too lazy to blog.. :P
having exams starting from tomorrow..
but didnt seem to study well..
coz my brain is really corrupted...
i cant seem to hav any interest in reading..
wish i was tat 戴阳天 which is a guy aged same as my sis...
but he's a pop-star... actor blabla...
i research about him after i watch this singapore drama series called... 乒乓圆
quite a nice movie... but dont think the ending is quite nice..
the concept is good there... but the guy which is the silent 1...
i waited him to defeat his opponent from the front part till the end part...
but he only start playing at the last 3 episodes...
the ending is just not perfect enough... it could be better...
but it was nice... cool...

after finishing the whole drama in just 3 days i think..
i turn on my television n' saw him in another drama act call " The Little Nyonya"...
now i'm still watching it... bcoz of this movie..
only i started to research on him...
then blablabla... quite admire him... coz when he was young a japanese guy i think..
brought him to Japan n' trained him to be a model..
quite cool huh...

dunno why every pop star tat i researched.. most of them r guys...
like the X-men: Origin... the young wolverine...
i was also quite admire him... a 14 yo singer... actor..
hav a beautiful voice...
not lyk me.. having a ugly 25yo face while i'm only 15..
damn shit man...
so sad about it.. tat's why i was always quiet when i'm out in the society...
i feel embarrass when they c my face... which tat i'm not either handsome nor cute...
i'm so mature.... WHY!!! WHY!!! WHY!!!

i load a few pics of 戴阳天 in the web....
it was lyk i looks 60-70% like him...
but just older... as in i look older than him...
but he's 25 n' i'm 15...
i looks older... WHY can this happen??
but i was quite happy tat i looks a bit lyk him..
but he was surely to be more handsome than me... :P
he's a pop star... who m i??
haiz..

oo..
bac to exams...
dunno wat to do man..
i wasted about 2-3 hours to do my notes..
but it just covered about 2 pgs of 1 of the topics..
arghh...
giving up... i'm so not into study..
but i hav to finish my exam fast..
so tat i could go to Australia.. :P
start my new life...

i was hoping miracle would happen...
since i was young... i wished n' hoped tat i could be a pop star..
but i cant.. look at my face n' u'll c why i cant..
dunno... i just wish i was them... being cool..
hav true cool friends... haiz..
stop it.. :(

till here my blog...
i'll blog some other times..
bye.. :(