New Chance Real Me

2009-12-08T20:02:00.002+08:00

wow man.. it has been quite long since the last blog i post..
i think about 2-3months..?
things which happened in the past period has been hidden at a deep corner inside my brain..
but the incident which happened few days ago.. it's still fresh in my mind..
Survivors Camp.. 生活营。。。路难行。。。努力拼。。。一定赢。。。
tat's our camp "slogan"...
haha..
it was a fun camp to go.. learned much.. changed much.. got touched..
but i still need to know more n' learn more..
knowing GOD is not a trend..
is a faith.. a chance to let u know more about life..
i'm frank to say tat i don know much about GOD..
why did he create us.. why this n' that.. there're still pieces of puzzles tat r still missing..
i really need to know more about HIM..
in the past i talk bad stuffs about HIM.. sometimes..
cox i don really know HIM.. HE's boring.. blabla..
tat's why i need to understand more..
in the camp.. the first day.. there're ppl crying.. me, haha.. ntg...
its kinda weird u know.. even today.. i still cant feel it.. "cox i went to another camp yesterday"..
they're crying.. i'm there just praying so tat GOD can let me feel wat they feel..
"GOD pls let me feel wat they feel.."..
bac to the Survivor Camp..
i cried on the 2nd day..
cox i had been through wat the IPs had said..
it was the first time i dare to walk to the front of the stage..
n' i cried.. then i hugged one of the IPs..
but the most comfort thing to me is.. there's 1 friend which i know him just 1 day..
he came down for me.. and put his hand on my shoulder..
it was a big comfort for me.. the feeling is weird to be frank..
he's such a great friend.. i just know him for a few hours.. n' he supports me..
ok.. then then.. something about I LOVE YOU..
tell ur parents tat you loved them..
i said.. tat day parents got happy.. then now..??
i'm bac again.. haih.. why.. but still got improve la..
just tat mum's words i always can get into mind.. haih..
then skip.. we played survivor games.. dodge ball.. etc..
my team got the 1st for dodge ball.. n' our team's average age r the smallest of the others..
haha.. after all the games.. till the last day.. we got the 1st.. :D
muahaha.. first time le..
my leader cried.. wow.. he was so touched when we got 1st place on the dodge ball.. n' the prize giving..
i dunno wat to post for now.. maybe i'll post others some other time la..
NOTE: my other time may be a few months later.. :P haha..
if u wanna check out my photos.. pls go to my FB.. thx.. :P
oh yea.. went to the camp yesterday..
okok la.. not to say not fun.. but it's ok..
learned why r u here lo.. SQ lessons..
yea.. bac to the prayer i prayed.. GOD maybe heard it..
cox SQ lessons is a lesson which let u understand GOD..
why r u here.. why this and that..
yea.. n' today this morning.. i dreamed a lot of dreams..
i dreamed i scolded my family.. one by one.. dream by dream..
weird huh.. n' then i woke up n' sleep again.. waiting for some1 to fetch me..
then i set the arlam on 11am.. 11.15am.. 11.30am.. 11.45am..
each of these 3 15mins.. i dreamed different dream..
but i just rmb'ed the 2nd 1.. which is from 11.15 to 11.30..
i dreamed there was ppl wif me.. quite a few..
then we're at a cave i think..
we're at the middle.. at one of the side was boards which withstands the water behind it..
then the board collapsed.. water flood in.. i don know how to swim.."even in reality"..
but others know.. then the water was gone.. n' the board was there again..
maybe it's something like an apocalypse.. then we go to the other side of the cave..??
the others was opposite.. but me i need to take my bagpack.. then i ran bac n' took it..
then i took 2 of my booster.. n' i rmb i took 1 holy bible on my hand..
weird again.. then there's 1 guy or girl was taking something too..
then another guy stood on something n' like sacrificing himself to save us..
there's something on top to press.. i tried to press it wif lots of things in my hand..
but then i didnt.. me n' the other guy/girl ran to the other side..
n' after we reached.. the water flood in.. the guy sacrificed i think..
dunno wat's this dream is about.. maybe a tsunami is coming..?

my prayer for now..
GOD pls let me know you more.. i dunno why r they crying.. could u let me feel wat they feel.. i'm sorry i did lots of wrong things.. i'm sry.. i don know wat can i do to my life now.. pls GOD.. let me know my way.. my path.. thx GOD.. AMEN..

hehe... 1 Sept.. :p

2009-09-01T21:57:00.010+08:00

a long time didnt post again..
i think its about 1 week or 2...
will try telling all my stories the past weeks...
lets start from today first...
k.. today was the 1st day of term4??
then went skul.. boring.. boring.. boring..
didnt do anything much.. but kept thinking tat if i hav money..
how m i going to decorate the room...
think lots of crazy stuffs.. buying mac book.. sofa - extend bed.. coffee table.. rack.. study table which cost a thousand or more.. shoes.. bags.. haha.. just living in me "Imagination"..
like doing tat.. imagine my future which wont come true..
but it lies on ur mind.. as ur second life..
skul over.. walk bac home..
watched AXN: The Amazing Race.. COOL!!!
i wanna join man..
then went on sleeping..
when i was awake.. dad was watching Star Movies...
n' the movie is called Under The Same Moon..

cute guy.. wish i was him.. :(

a French movie i think.. not much English spoken in tat movie..
quite a nice movie.. quite touched.. :P

then now.. doing nothing..

--------------------------------------------
yesterday...
forgot wat happened yesterday..
but i rmb at midnight.. i was rushing the maths coursework..
the report is quite ok for me..
but teacher say tat the report got my expression inside.. as in like ":P"
then he say i act cute in the report.. LOL.. shit him la..
tat's for yesterday...

for last week.. which is holiday..
post the birthday thingy right...
then on Tuesday.. bro brought me to cinema wif his gf's cousins n' aunt nilai's children..
we watched Up..
i wanted to watch in 3D but they don wanna.. :(
i think tat its a nice movie..
but others say tat its lame..
it's totally not true..
quite touched for me.. :)
the chinese boy.. cute...
the old guy.. sad.. :)

after the movie.. i'll state briefly..
went bac home.. then went to aunt nilai's house at night..
stay there for a few days.. went climbing mountain.. mahjong the whole day.. cards..
quite ok staying there.. but its kinda boring..
but its boring at home too..
but there r 2 naughty kids there.. so can teman me lo.. haha.. :P
then on Sunday went bac home.. finished.. :P
will post the view when i was on the peak of the mountain..
n' some of the funny stuff happen to me.. :P

first mountain.. 2 tiny ant human.. :Pforest mountain..down...going to rain man.. :(cool...boring day on holiday.. playing bricks??all 7 sisters together.. :P

haha.. aunt.. :P

almost a month.. :P

2009-08-25T11:02:00.003+08:00

finally i'm posting again...
almost 1 month...
i still rmb sis called me to post my blog so she can know wat i'm doing.. :P
*haha.. sis.. posting ald la..*

ok.. lets talk about yesterday 1st...
yesterday went to pyramid at 11.oo... - celebrate friend's birthday - Joy
reach there by 11.30 (bus)
then went to meet my 2 friends.. Megan n' Kylene..
went bookstore to buy thing to hold her birthday card which is made by a stack of paper.. :P
then went to Wendy's and hav our lunch...
wow.. my lunch was damn expensive.. RM20.. :P
i ordered the biggest burger.. i think?? then a large set...
damn full.. but didnt finish the fries...
waited there for 2 hours till the 2 couple arrive..
i think we wait till 1.15pm... the 2 popo n' gonggong only arrive..
then give present lo..
then movie at 2 lo..
then the birthday girl ask wat movie we watching..
then i just saw the screen.. - a scary movie..
we acted cool.. then the music like so support our lying.. :P
then the screen of the cinema just show "G.I. Joe"...
she was like u all ar.. u ar... haha..
then after movie we separated.. or else become light bulb meh..
then we 3 walk lo.. no where to go ma walk all around the complex..
then WWF thingy.. say save our turtles..
we signed it.. then give "Ninja-Turtle" stickers.. :P
haha.. then about 5.30 we was at Mini Toon??
then i saw myself in the mirrow..
it was ugly.. then i was like acting tat i need to go..
then i ma quickly use the paper tat i got from the WWF n' walk away lo..
so pai seh... :P
then i walk out from the building waiting for bus..
waited around 10-15 mins...
no bus arrived.. then i ma walk lo..
cox think tat why are u wasting time..
u can walk n' wait wat.. then i started to walk..
then i found out tat the jam is becox the 2 police there..
simply waving here n' there..
then i just walk bac home from sunway lo..
my style was like so awkward stupid la..
cox when i was walking my hand was like using the paper to block the sun..
i ma like acting cool.. n' put the paper in front of me.. :P
haha..

i used about 1.15hour to reach home..
quite fun la..
then before tat 5min.. i called bac to call maid to cook 3 eggs.. :P
after reaching home.. went eat..
then tat time is ald around 7.10..
then 7.20 aunty came n' fetch me to the healing thingy..
*actually mum's going 1.. but she say got meeting.. :(
then went there.. felt scary at the 1st place..
then ok..
its not a church.. is just u tell them wat happen..
then they'll pray for u lo..
i waited about 1 hours only my turn..
then i told the "brother" everything about me..
things tat i didnt tell any1 before..
a damn secret kept inside me..
i was thinking tat i'm in there..
i don wanna lie.. i wanna be honest..
tell everything tat seemed kinda bug me...
*the "brother" is not a pastor..
before i tell the "brother".. i was thinking tat i'm full with sins..
bad sins.. after telling.. then he was like tat's ok..
ur sins is becox the "angel of the demon" don 1 u to come close to GOD"
he say i can c u hav a great ...something.. to GOD...
then after all tat he pray for me...
actually it's like he's my psychiatrist...
it's good... i felt better yesterday..
he save me 2 verse 2 read..
Proverbs Chpt 3 Verse 5,6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not to your own understandings;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

a great verse..
some great words..
its really refreshing i think..
just mind refreshing la.. :P
then went back home n' sleep lo..
haha..

yesterday's report finished.. :P haha..
....................................................................................................................................................

day's bac before...

ok.. i went n' dye my hair..
then life changed twiced..
1st is last week's Thursday..
did something very wrong.. really really wrong..
then 2nd life changed was at the healing..
he told me wat's good wat's bad..

then went on the GA Amazing Race...
a games event by a youth church..
just went there once..
then the game was ok..
but very tired.. just think as if it's traning our body lo..
ran over the whole PJ..
went Jaya 1 get clue.. then go bridge.. the give out flyers.. then go Kelaana Jaya.. then go here go there... tired o.. non-stop running... 3-4 hours..
but get 6th place out of 36 la...
ok la.. but the thing when i rmb the 1st clue..
if we didnt waste time finidng for 1st clue.. we'll sure be in top 3 i think..
but nvm la.. : )

then about father lo..
told sis.. just now told 2nd bro..
like tat lo..
then i think no more ald.. :P
blog next time again la.. :P
btw.. i always watch movie in the month..
cant concentrate on study la..
hope after the healing.. supernatural will come.. : )
bye my bloggie.. :P

stress again..

2009-07-25T23:00:00.002+08:00

exams over..
felt free after the last test..
but stress after skul tat day..
coz i went dyeing my hair tat day..
my 1st dyeing experience... brown colour..
shines when light reaches it..
i told sis about it...
i tot sis will be mad at me..
but not.. she told me tat it's ok.. u hav to accept it since i've done it..
but when i told mum.. got scolded lyk shit..

just know tat sis still havent dump her bf yet today.. :P
so "sui" 1 la her.. :P
haha..
after exam ntg to do...
but study lo.. then mum is lyk u go tidy ur place..
why havent tidy yet.. blablabla..
haizz..

my exam is kinda ok la..
but a few nop..
i got chemist for 26/30 but not sure yet coz teacher say maybe need deduct marks...
physic 28/30 :P
others dunno yet...
maths... Fail
english... Fail
biology... Fail/Pass
history... Fail Fail Fail
geography... Fail

haizz.. :P
dunno wat to post today..
stress for the whole week..
but now ok d.. :)
bye bloggie.. :)

stress..

2009-07-21T20:36:00.002+08:00

i'm so damn stress now...
firstly.. i look ugly n' mature...
this has make me loss my confidence to talk to people..
i look more more more mature than my actual age..
people who r 18 or 20 looks more young n' handsome than me..
why do i need to suffer this pain.. this invincible suffering...
secondly.. i cant study...
my brain seem to be corrupted..
when i'm reading something to my mind..
there'll be a feeling tat many stuff is blocking me..
many other stuffs starting to annoy me in the brain making me cant concentrate..
i hav this before a few years ago...
whenever i saw or pass through a cemetery... my brain will act corrupted again..
my brain will start scolding out bad words... n' i cant control it..
but i always repeat sorry.. sorry... sorry.. again n' again in my brain...
then finally last year if i'm not wrong..
i found out a cure..
but it's tat i block my readings...
its really weird to explain but i'll try to..
its lyk i can block the stuff going into my brain of thinking..
its like a force pushing out the words out of my brain..
maybe its bcoz of this tat had affected my brain to think normally..
its just this year tat my brain acting tat way..
i cant think normally.. i cant read...
i'm very pressure now..
my family.. annoying me... their voice make me hav the invincible suffering..
my face... which looks more mather.. n' ugly looking... make me don dare to communicate wif others..
my brain tat had corrupted.. cant think normally.. especially in exams time...
this make me wanna die...
everytime i hav to keep all the suffer inside of me..
when u got suffering.. u'll feel like there's a big amount of gas in ur chest..
n' u wanna make it out by hitting stuffs..
but i cant.. i hav to keep it.. keep it.. n' keep it..
but i really wanna hit the glass... throw stuffs, scream... shout..
but i cant.. i'm very very stress..
i hope that i really gone crazy..
my brother... scolding me.. annoy me..
everyone in my family annoys me..
but i cant fight them over..
coz i know i'll lose.. i'll hav to keep all the suffer inside me..
arghh....ffffffffff.............
i really suffer much..
i wish i had mental problem...
then i can skip over my life.. don think anything more..
as i'm ald old looking.. ugly.. no use..
tmr i'm having bio n' chemist test..
n' i cant rmb a thing...
my memories r also very bad..
i cant rmb clearly wat i've done the day b'fore..
:(

no topic.. :P

2009-07-19T22:49:00.003+08:00

sorry again bloggie...
i think it had been almost a month i didnt blog..
i was too lazy to blog.. :P
having exams starting from tomorrow..
but didnt seem to study well..
coz my brain is really corrupted...
i cant seem to hav any interest in reading..
wish i was tat 戴阳天 which is a guy aged same as my sis...
but he's a pop-star... actor blabla...
i research about him after i watch this singapore drama series called... 乒乓圆
quite a nice movie... but dont think the ending is quite nice..
the concept is good there... but the guy which is the silent 1...
i waited him to defeat his opponent from the front part till the end part...
but he only start playing at the last 3 episodes...
the ending is just not perfect enough... it could be better...
but it was nice... cool...

after finishing the whole drama in just 3 days i think..
i turn on my television n' saw him in another drama act call " The Little Nyonya"...
now i'm still watching it... bcoz of this movie..
only i started to research on him...
then blablabla... quite admire him... coz when he was young a japanese guy i think..
brought him to Japan n' trained him to be a model..
quite cool huh...

dunno why every pop star tat i researched.. most of them r guys...
like the X-men: Origin... the young wolverine...
i was also quite admire him... a 14 yo singer... actor..
hav a beautiful voice...
not lyk me.. having a ugly 25yo face while i'm only 15..
damn shit man...
so sad about it.. tat's why i was always quiet when i'm out in the society...
i feel embarrass when they c my face... which tat i'm not either handsome nor cute...
i'm so mature.... WHY!!! WHY!!! WHY!!!

i load a few pics of 戴阳天 in the web....
it was lyk i looks 60-70% like him...
but just older... as in i look older than him...
but he's 25 n' i'm 15...
i looks older... WHY can this happen??
but i was quite happy tat i looks a bit lyk him..
but he was surely to be more handsome than me... :P
he's a pop star... who m i??
haiz..

oo..
bac to exams...
dunno wat to do man..
i wasted about 2-3 hours to do my notes..
but it just covered about 2 pgs of 1 of the topics..
arghh...
giving up... i'm so not into study..
but i hav to finish my exam fast..
so tat i could go to Australia.. :P
start my new life...

i was hoping miracle would happen...
since i was young... i wished n' hoped tat i could be a pop star..
but i cant.. look at my face n' u'll c why i cant..
dunno... i just wish i was them... being cool..
hav true cool friends... haiz..
stop it.. :(

till here my blog...
i'll blog some other times..
bye.. :(

sorry me bloggie...

2009-06-29T22:22:00.002+08:00

so sorry man...
i was too lazy to blog...
but will tell u wat i rmb...
ok last 2 weeks i think...
our skul hav a carnival...
so we have done the haunted house..
scaring people... people scaring us.. :P
it was quite fun but many thing happens after tat...
we got RM800+ for our earnings...
but the total earnings before cutting out our cost is RM1300...
there's a problem coz my friends can be said tat accidentally molested...
the 2 girls wants to make it to a bigger deal..
but it was just a misunderstanding i think...
but the boy is also very stupid... coz he went in 6 times...
so the girl just think tat he hav a motive.. so...
stupid guy... went in to our haunted house for 6 times...
then parents came... blablabla...
parents came is after 1 week la...
it took 1 week and a few days for the process...
then other things i forget d..
but i still rmb last sat went to friends house n' watch Friday the 13th...
not so scary... not so excited... but ok la...
ntg happen lo...

if i rmb then i post again la..
oh ya.. now i'm back eating kokocrunch 5days ago.. :P
haha... then following my schedule to be fat.. :P
just start today... :P
night la for now..
bye blog... lazy... :P
but regret didnt post so long..
coz all memory all gone... :(

posting for Tues-Today... :P

2009-06-11T22:50:00.003+08:00

sry for not posting my bloggie...
very lazy to post ar...
homework all havent do...
very stress ar..

k... Tuesday story...
as usual wake about 1-2p.m....
then went to Taipan n' prepare the new me... :P
LOLz...
1st... i went cutting my hair...
*quite nice though
then i brought a new brush - electronic brush...
after tat i went to pair up my new specs...
but the specs there hav a problem...
coz got 2 model i lyk...
1 of it the lens design was nice...
another was the side...hard to decide...
but i choose the 1 wif the edge...
*coz mum choose it... :P
later tat.. i went bac home lo... :P
then sleep... movie... eat... sleep...
END OF THE DAY... :P

oo... wait... just rmb a thing...
i went ah yi's house wif bro, bro's gf n'mum...
we brought durian n' some "duck meat?" wif us...
there i tried to cook my old cuisine...
but i failed...
coz i was told tat the pan was non-sticky...
but it isnt... so my cuisine just stick onto the pan... :(
ntg happen then... :P
END... :P

ok.. turning to my next day...
didnt did anything for the day...
in the evening about 3p.m. i was invited to play mahjong... :P
*wif my bro n' his gf...
having fun playing...
*tell u wat... last time when i play... i sure always cares about money...
but starting this year onward i stopped.. :P
actually the process have much more fun than money...
BTW... i just only won about 20-40cents in 2 hours... :P
haha...
then at night mum n' i went n' pay my specs...
i choose a lot there...
there's where i found the specs which has the nicer lens...
after choosing n' doing the eye test..
we went bac home... n' mum rushed out for her business...
i was so messed wif my feeling wheather to choose which 1..
but finally i hav chosen wat mum has choose... :P
then i think tat my Ending for Tat Day... :P

turning to my next day again which is today...
hav a call at night yesterday to inform me to work on morning shift...
woke up 9... watch cartoon (Ben10)... :P.... then went work... clean up the store...
got peeled on my skin when opening the detergent... then ntg lo...
work until 4p.m. then went bac...
watch movie... sleep... blogging lo... :P
haha... END of THE DAY again... :)

bye my blog...
very lazy ar... :P
night...

i give up... invincible...

2009-06-07T23:40:00.005+08:00

this was yesterdays news...
coz ald over 12a.m....
yesterday father, bro n'me went to c bro's house...
its kinda small... but as long as he lyks it than ok lo...
*not my house also... :P
b'fore tat we went to c a bungalow show house nearby there...
coz waiting for the agent to get the key...
damn big le... RM1.6million...
the smallest room = 3 quarter of bro's living room... :P
after tat we went bro's gf family's "pan mee" store n' eat...
it taste quite nice... but actually i dunno nice or not...
coz dad say nice nice nice...
the "pan mee" actually hav a nickname...
tat's "sonar pan mee"...
coz at the moment u eat... u surely will be sweating...
haha... :P
after eating we went to the nearby Jusco...
went there not more than 30mins than went out...

sienzz ar...
coz i was mad at Jusco...
this was bcoz the whole day... dad don talk to me...
i'm absolutely invincible... when i speak they wont reply or say anything...
i'm so damn sad u noe... coz dad just talk about me bro...
i was lyk when he saw a store then say " u wanna buy anything ar "...
i was lyk... oo.. i'm the 1 who lyks to spend ur money la...
but i always don buy... coz i noe my school fees ald damn expensive...
but how he treated me... how???

how u treat me dad... u say urself...

n' my bro... he just knows how to act in front of my father...
call me to argue wif my father coz of mummy thingy...
then later go n' take advantage...
he sure really knows how to act... all the family member just trusted him...
i tried to argue wif him b'fore...
but my mouth just kept losing to him...
nvm... i don need my family to live now...
even my sister...
she use to be the most important once in my life...
but now... NOPE!!!

i don need u to live my sister...
who u think u r... i noe u r damn busy n' damn stress these days...
but... nvm i don care anymore...
if u saw this comment of mine i noe u sure just say...
"Wat u wan to say u say lo, i hav no energy to argue," right.
tell u wat, u r not tat important to be anymore...
but u r still my sister... u hurt me too much...
i give up upon caring my sister too much... n' wat i get was just scolding...
only mum cares about me...
but i just dunno how to speak...
mum i'm so sorry ok!!!
how u'll still love me.... nor bro...
he's the bad guy...
haih... no1 will believe me...
i give up!!!

for now... i really dunno wat to do...
i'm too stress upon my family...
every1 hav a happy family...
hav a good brother... good sister...
me??? hav a big gap between them....
no comuunication... more arguement...
i noe if i post this i'll sure regret upon wat i said about my sister...
coz i really care her much till now...
she's the 1 who supports me more....
but from wat i hear from them...
sis just dont treat me as a important member...
she forgets about me...
i felt very sad about tat...
so i really dunno wat to do...
from small my birthdays wishes was just lyk i wanna hav a happy family...
*sometimes no... :P wanna be a star... haha... :P
but now wat i get...
i noe God hav a rule...
wat u wan... u need to earn it...
as in God giv u chance to get ur wish...
i tried...
lyk today... dad thinks tat i'm invincible...
so i say its a challenge... God is teaching me not to be mad...
i tried lots of times...
but i cant...
i'm too stress...
actually i hav a secret about my whole life...
but i cant tell...
mainly is coz by this family...
but i wont say...

i noe i'll sure regret for wat i've write just now...
but i need to remind myself wat had happened today...
i dunno if i need to say sorry to my sister or not...
..........
sorry...
but i wont frogive my brother...
just go to hell la u...

end of my feeling...

forgot wat happen... :P

2009-06-07T03:09:00.004+08:00

art on me hand... :P
although not nice...
but i darw 1 le... :P
hehe...

finally i can on9 d...
but i forgot wat happen yesterday...
*mean yesterday's yesterday...
coz ald over 12.00a.m...
but i rmb today after 12.00a.m....
coz i just came bac from ah yi's house at about 2a.m....
*from the evening... went ah yi's house about 6p.m. b'fore tat went for lunch...
then my bro went basketball n' i went to ah yi's house...
i help her to solve her computer problem...
after tat bro came 'bout 8p.m....
then we chat n' eat lamb chop i think...
ah yi cooked it... quite nice...
ah yi also made ice cream for us too...
but kinda sour... :P so i just ate a few....
we also drank a bit of wine...
but the wine isnt tat nice... so we also drank a little only...
after tat we chat till midnight...
after tat we went to the Burger King shop n' chat again...
after tat we went bac n' start our journey...
journey to retrieve bac our memories...
memories at europe...
kinda fun... coz guessing where is this... where is tat...
oh ya...
when i finished helping ah yi wif her computer...
we found out there is a voice reconization software...
kinda fun though... :P

mm.. i think tat's all for today....
lazy to write... but i scare i forgot after sleep...
so i write 1st lo... :P
haih... my lame blog...
but this is just my memories... :P
haha...
night... muacz...

late post... internet suspend...

2009-06-07T02:49:00.004+08:00

Waa.. waa… :'(

I wanna cry d…

Today I saw the cutest kid in my life…

So damn cute la….

But didn’t take the kids picture…

So sad… I can feel my eyes…

My heart felt so sad la…

Why… why… why…

U noe the kid was lyk looking me in a weird face…

N’ the eyes so big n’ giving me a weird look…

So damn cute la wei…

Hope tat next time my baby also tat cute…

Next time if I saw him… MUST take picture…

Wanna cry ald la now… didn’t take him picture…

Today same lo… no need to say I also know d…

Can memorize ald…

Sleep… tv.. sleep… wake.. work…

But today got a bit of adjustment… :P

Sleep…. Tv… homework… work… haha…

At work the same lo…

Then after work…

Went bac home… mum told me tat the Pulau Redang trip has been canceled…

Coz kena trick ald… the guy have trick my aunt for 1500bucks…

N’ now the guy has gone…

The guy was our relatives I think… coz mum say same hometown 1…

Haih…

Still wanna cry bcoz of tat baby…

Not actually baby la..

About 1-2 year old gua…

So cute… if my baby tat cute or more cute…

I sure damn happy… :P

Ok… today I’m writing on Microsoft Word…

Coz my internet is being suspend…

So will post this after my internet has recover… J

Tat’s all for today…

CUTE BABY!!!

I WANT TAT BABY!!!

June 4 2009 Thursday 10.56p.m.

no idea for title... :P

2009-06-04T00:13:00.003+08:00

ok...

today everything was fine...
but the only thing was tat i wake on 2p.m.... :P
n' there's a funny incident u noe..
in the morning about 7a.m. in the morning...
i woke up in a sudden...
n' i saw dad was outside the bathroom...
i saw the clock n' it was 7.23a.m. i think...
then i spoke out in a sudden...
"Oh, shit i need to go to work... i'm so damn late... die lo..."
after tat i was lyk...
eh... got so fast meh??
wat did i do in the morning...
then dad say me... " you crazy ald r...?? r u ok??? " :P
after tat i waste about a minute n' think...
then i was lyk oookkk... cheh...
after tat i went bac n' sleep till 2.pm...
actually in the middle i got awake...
but lazy to wake up... so sleep sleep sleep till 2p.m. lo...
i lyk my sister... " a sleepy pig "
quite a funny thing to post...
the same thing after wake...
watch cartoon... movies... sleep... wake... bath... work... :P

at work is kinda fun...
coz there was 2 funny girl working wif me in the same shift...
walau... both of them can go n' do show d... :P
they lyk normal girls la... but kept talking nonsense,,,
actually every girl also lyk tat la...
then today the same lo...
most of the time washing bowls la... :P
haha... : )
after work i went to my boss house wif the staffs...
coz is her birthday...then i felt happy lo...
coz they're lyk a family...
a Happy Bean family...
they communicate, watch movie, karaoke, steamboat...
but tat was last time la... when i havent started working...
feel happy there...
actually i think the male boss is ok lo...
just maybe sometimes "fat fo"...
overall ok la...

wa... i think i dunno wat i write...
coz very messy la this post...
nvm la...
just for me to read only...
lazy to edit ar...
so just simply put colour only...
sorry me blog... :P
bye bye la me blog...
muacz... :)

another day wif ntg to do...

2009-06-02T23:02:00.003+08:00

wake up at around 11a.m....

then watch cartoon... eat... movie... discovery... sleep...
then wake... prepare to go work... go work...
working there is kinda fun... WHEN the boss r not in...
wash bowls... wash bowls... wash more bowls...
arghhh...
the stupid male boss again...
1st i tot is my problem coz 1 of the staff say he just act cool...
but when the end of the business... he fectch me bac...
n' he's lyk darn fierce saying... "HERE!!!"
stupid boss...
maybe last decade i killed his parents...
haih...
later i went bac n' told dad n' mum...
dad was lyk if u not happy then then dont work la...
but mum's lyk so innocent...
her face makes me feel bad... coz she lyk no energy to talk...
this few weeks she started to become more n' more tired...
then sometimes her heart will go pain..
call her to go c doctor she dunno got go or not...
too bad i cant drive...
haihz...
another day going to pass again...
the time just flew so fast in the holidays... : (
ok.. today i'm posting a few pictures about the staff over there...
a leng lui n' a leng zai...
a quite cute couple...
but the girl ald hv boyfriend ald...
so they cannot be a cute couple... : (feel very sorry for mum for wat i had did...
wanna change the attitude of talking to her...
but... haizz...
i was lyk i scold mum then feel so bad..
if she "d_e" i sure damn sad...
if dont hav her then dont hav me...
why... pls let me change la...
so sorry mum...
sorry... sorry... sorry...

June the 1st...

2009-06-01T23:53:00.003+08:00

almost forget to blog...
just finish my "face treatment"...
ok... today...
do nothing in the morning...
sleep till 11a.m.??? i think...
then watch cartoon... discovery... cartoon...
sleep... wake... then bath n' went work...
its kinda ok working there...
but tired la...
the stupid boss there... which is the guy not the girl...
is lyk i killed his parents lyk tat...
make tat stupid attitude in front of me...
dunno wat happen to him...
so fierce...
maybe is bcoz he's from Taiwan gua... :P
or maybe its just me being paranoid...
yea i think its me...
today i also almost cleaning the bowls from 4p.m. to the end of the business...
hav back sore after cleaning...
but ok lo... :) got funny fwens there...
at the end of the business... mum came wif her fwens...
most church fwens which is ok to me...
but there is a stupid aunty call Doris...
which is my mum's nephew... 40+++++...
hate her damn much...
i almost wanna hit her wif the bowl of beans tat my fwen help me pack...
shit her... she's a damn bastard who always bully my mum...
curse her... old darn woman...
but i'm so darn bad too...
coz i scolded my mum n' call her to shut up...
*of course not in front of her fwens la...
coz she call her fwens which is the church 1 to come to the store...
n' i feel very bad lo...
sorry mum... i dont mean it...
just tat i cant control my temper...
so so so sorry... haih...
after went bac home call "kakak" to cook 2 eggs for me wif vege n' rice...
then tats all for the day... :P
lyk my journal...
wat time till wat time do wat thing... :P
but i just wanna write everything i can think about now...
coz a few days later i'll sure forgot everything... :P
bad memory... brain corrupted... :P
night me blog... :)

tired man... !!!

2009-05-31T23:34:00.006+08:00

damn tired man today...

went work on 6p.m. at "Happy Beans"...
just went to serve n' clean n' clean n' non-stop cleaning till off-duty...
after tat i went to 100Yen to meet my boss n' fwens...
boss told me some stories... :)
most of them r not working due to studies...
but 1 of my fwen went operation... sad... :(
i bought a biscuit from 100 Yen too... :P Coconut Sable Biscuit after going back home... no food for me...!!!
then mum go cook hotdog and vegetables with rice for me... :P
haha... :P so bad.. call mum to cook at night...
mm... on the evening... mum n' i went for "dinner"?... i
ate "char siew" rice... mum ate "ban mee" i think...
i think tat all for today...

*yesterday...
didnt post for friday... so this is it... :P
we got tons of homework... as in just about 20-30pgs of homework...
then we hav our mathathon due to the tons of math homework...the class genius done 1 set of paper in just 20mins straight... my
20mins was spend on my fwen... doodle n' Michael Zelski ...Michael Zelski...
lame right... but i lyk the doodle...
on the way of doin mathathon...
our class "leng lui" come n' gave us jelly... miss form3 as aunty jello...
and they hav a drawing section on the Art n' Design class... one of the sample... :P
tat all for tat day...
but stress lo tat day...
got so many homework...
tats all... :P
have to eat my supper... :P
haha... bye...

* feel very sorry for mum due on how i treated her...
everytime after i scolded or treated mean to her...
i'll hav hard feelings...
its not fun u noe..
but i just cant control to do tat...
arghh... why o why o why...!!!

the feeling is following me!!!

2009-05-30T18:47:00.002+08:00

heeeelp!!!
this stupid feeling is visiting me again!!!
i feel so suffer!!!
really dunno how to explain this feeling...
this feeling makes me feels very bad...
it's lyk its not me anymore...
i'm changing to a new rough life feeling...
heeeelp!!!!
is there any1 out there can help me???
pls man... i need ur help!!!
arghhh.....!!!
why do i hav this feeling...

btw... the holidays have start...
yesterday i was so emo in the morning...
till the evening i was only fine...
i dunno wat had happen to me..
the feeling makes me feel suffer...
i think i hav this experience b'fore...
but dunno how or when it will be wore off...
arghh....!!!
heeeeelp!!!

no mood to post any skul times story...
sry blog...
will post maybe some other times...
but there is 1 thing i need to say...
this holiday is not counted as holiday...
is domorehomework-day...
dunno wat to say anymore...
bye...!!!

just woke up...

2009-05-29T05:02:00.003+08:00

morning...
just woke up... toooo early...
hmm...
posting some of the pics... :P

My school study scene... :P
actually still got volleyball court 1...
but the pic makes tat weird feeling to come bac...
so i deleted it... :P
haha...
lazy to post anything ald...
go sleep again... :P
morning... :P

feel bad n' weird for the day... : (

2009-05-28T21:42:00.002+08:00

today... i feel so sad n' so bad...
occur in the presentation (malay)... "training"
there's some1 talk "things" behind of me...
i felt so damn sad... i almost cried...
* but i cried at last... a few minutes only... :P
to cover my sadness i just act fierce...
some of my friend got scared by me... coz of my attitude...
maybe is me who misunderstand them... haizz...
why my life is tat miserable!!!

ok... next story...
i felt so weird after goin for the volleyball...
coz maybe all of them r college students... so i feel lyk....
if i grow older... i will hav their life...
dunno how to describe... is just lyk time will just flew away fast...
its lyk when u r young u wan to grow faster...
but now when u r old u just hope the time would just turn bac...
but it wont... i feel weird " sad, scared "???
really hard to describe this feeling...
now i'm feeling it too... just hope that after i wake up...
my brain will just wash the feeling away " brainwash " :P
bcoz of this feeling...
i think i write my blog until i also cannot understand wat i'm writing...
OMG!!!

today very tired ar...
so maybe will post some pics tomorrow...
mm.. nothing to say for now...
night... : )
good luck to me for the malay presentation...
btw... i'm the conducter... :P
night...
muacz... haha... : )

feel so guilty...

2009-05-27T18:42:00.003+08:00

today i feel damn guilty...
coz i cheated in the ICT exam...
actually some of us did cheat...
but i cheat the most... lolz...
arghh.. i copied a lot from the book...
but i use in my own words la... : (
waa... waa... die liao...
haih... i feel guilty till i cant hav my evening nap...
just don kept bother it... haizz...

ohh... i snap a few pics of my class project... n' edited it...my hand... haha... V for Vendetta...

this was my class work during BM class...
kind a lame... but memorable...
so cool right my hand... :P
mine was the unique 1... cool...

mmm... ntg special happened today...
but after the ICT exam tat i cheated...
i felt relax... but i also felt so so so guilty...
haih...
exams finally over...
but bringing the guiltiness into my holiday mood...
haizz... ntg to say...

bye again my blog...
muacz... : P

1st time editing pics... ( :

2009-05-26T23:21:00.004+08:00

finally finish editing my "stupiak" picture... :P
learning how to edit my picture... for my new life...

will be having a ICT test tomorrow...
but still didnt touch a single page...
hheellpp...
very frustrated in skul...
the teacher... u can say tat it's all the same...
maybe it's me... not them... arghh...
today i found out tat i'm not a good friend...
coz when something gone wrong... i sure go complain wif other friend...
haih... why why why...
i must change!!!

this few month i was feeling so stressed...
but now i'm finally gaining bac my confidence...
n' i finally got fwens who invite me out for sports... :P
haha... i'm so damn lame...

hav to read my ICT d... : (
bye my lovely blog... muacz...
haha... geli...

new chance!!!

2009-05-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

the purpose of my new blog is to set a new chance in my life!!!
from here now 25May '09 11.30p.m...
i declare my new chance n' life hav just START!!!

lolz...To meself:
Hey you, you musn't break your rules ya!!! Or else there is no more chance for you!!!

:P I'm so lame... but i need to remind myself...
oo... btw... wanna remind myself tat i think i finally found a girl tat i lyk...
but i dont even noe who she is... coz i met her at the shopping complex...
she looks mature n' nice to me... after i met her, i tried to look for her in the complex...
but i failed... : ( waa...waa...
she's the 1st girl tat make my ventricle pump violently...
*not tat violent... just make my heart pump more fast... :P

i think i hav nothing to write anymore...
but i felt tat day by day... i gain more confidence...
you can do it!!! : )

bye my blog...!!!